Here’s a little secret – you need some haters in your life. Trust me on this one – when people hate on you and what you do (for the right reasons, of course), it just goes to show you’re doing something right.
Let me explain.
Standard Hater Formula
First things first: Everybody has had a hater at some point. Yes, even you. Don’t believe me? Ever hear somebody say to you, “Why are you wearing that shirt today?”
Or, “Yeah, that business idea sounds cute, but maybe you should think about getting a real job.”
This is Hating at its finest. Haters can come from anywhere – they can be people you talk to online, strangers on the street, they can be your closest friend or, sadly, even your family.
If you’re like most people, as soon as somebody starts talking bad about you, spreading rumors and whatnot, you probably follow a three-step plan like this one:
- Get sad that somebody is talking about you
- Get defensive and start justifying your actions
- Get angry that you had to defend yourself
It seems kinda silly on paper, but this is the behavioral pattern most people follow. And it’s dead wrong. See, any time you are forced to defend yourself or your actions, you put yourself in a place of weakness – you forfeit your power to your haters.
And that’s what haters love, so…
Haters gonna hate – there’s no way around it. So instead of getting defensive and angry, find out ways to increase the amount of haters you have.
Think about your haters. It doesn’t matter who they are, there’s one thing all haters have in common: Haters hate because you’re doing something they can’t, or are too afraid to do.
It’s that simple. Haters hate because they’re weak. So keep on keeping on and let the haters do what they do best – waste their time talking about you. Call me egotistical, but it sounds pretty flattering, right?
Why Do I Need More Haters?
You’re killing me, Smalls. Haters, when viewed in the proper context, are your underrepresented and misunderstood cheerleaders. When people are talking about you, paying attention to you because you’re doing something incredible, take that energy and run with it.
You need haters because they’re part of the game. When you do something above the status quo, or outside most people’s box of comfort, expect some haterage.
You need haters to remind you you’re doing something most people can’t or are too afraid to.
You need haters to help sharpen your self-confidence and define your swagger. There’s no feeling like knowing you have haters because you’re doing all the right things.
But mostly you need more haters because a high level of haters is directly correlative to a high level of success. It’s all well and good to talk a mean game, but haters are there to make sure you follow through.
Because if you slip up or falter, haters get all the glory and satisfaction of their endeavor. If, though, you continually succeed (and follow these steps), you will put some hurt on your haters. And it feels amazing to lay down some hater hurt.
7 Ways to Attract More Haters
- Do what you do, and do it well. This can be pretty much anything – your job, being a parent, or your favorite hobby. People might not always agree with what you do, but committing yourself to doing something well is worthy of respect…and haters.
- Do something worth hating. Whatever you do, do it well. But the next step is to do something worth hating – that is, do something creative, something bold, do something remarkable.
- Own it. This is where confidence comes in. Confidence is an intrinsically attractive quality, except to those who are not themselves confident. Own what you say and do, and haters will follow.
- Be the best you you can be. A little like #1 and #2, this focuses on setting goals for yourself and achieving those goals. When you’re out to fulfill your agenda, haters will follow. They thrive on attention, so…
- Don’t get caught up in the hate. The best way to take somebody’s power is to pay them no attention.
- Look good enough to be hated. This is something you might not readily expect, but haters love hating people who look good. Regardless of a person’s personality, humans are hard-wired to respond to external perception. Always look good and your personal brand will thrive amongst the hater community.
- Love the hate. Pull all this together and just revel in the idea that people are paying you so much attention!
What do you think – any suggestions for haters? Please leave comments below!
PS, if you haven’t seen comedian Katt Williams’ piece on the need for haters, you can view it here .